april wrap up | a mix of spring depression and sarcasm

Hello everyone! My name is Jan and welcome back to another blog post  ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

I’ve lowkey disappeared off of the face of the earth because seasonal depression rlly do be a thing and I’ve been taking a hiatus off of social media so that my mental health could take a break but I reminded myself how much I loved blogging and making videos so I’m here to do just that 🙂 ♥

It’s finals season and I uploaded a cafe study with me to hold you accountable to study 😡 go watch it right now!!!

Anyways… without further ado, let’s get on with what I’ve read and loved in April


In April I read about 7 books which is pretty impressive in my opinion because the most books I would read in a month would probably be about 4, so I’m just proud of myself in general 🙂

The Atlas Six by Olivie Blake

The Atlas Six was the first book that I finished in April after seeing it float around twitter for the longest time and… can I just say… what the actual heck was that… I ENJOYED IT DON’T GET ME WRONG BUT I felt like it was too big brained for me and I had no idea wtf was going on half of the time :(( I think I’m going to re-read it later this year when my brain if off dumb bitch autopilot.

One of the reasons why I picked The Atlas Six up was because of the stunning art I keep seeing float around twitter like look at it!!! Are you KIDDING me?!

goodreads | amazon |

I also have a reading vlog regarding every single thought that ran through my head while reading this book! If you want to see me doing writing sprints with my friends, reading sprints with Ren, and complain in general, check out my reading vlog! I’ve been thinking about doing weekly reading vlogs and I really enjoy doing it 🙂

The Wicked King (The Folk of the Air, #2) by Holly Black

To be honest I have been taking my sweet time with this series after hearing my friend Ren read this series and I’ve been taking one month to finish one book and I think that my high for the fairy aesthetic has slowly faded away, but I still think this story was interesting enough! I don’t know what it is with me and toxic men with dark hair but I can’t stop reading about them!!

goodreads | book depository | amazon | barnes & noble

Black Water Sister by Zen Cho

Last month I received an ARC to review Black Water Sister by Zen Cho and I absolutely ATE it up. A stressed zellenial fighting ghosts and bickering with the spirit of her hilarious Ah Ma? Sign me TF up!!! I reviewed this recently and the post is now up on my blog so be sure to check it out 🙂

blog post | goodreads | book depository | amazon | barnes & noble

Lost in the Never Woods by Aiden Thomas

I love fairytale re-tellings (and I’m writing one right no) and my heart has a soft spot for Peter Pan and Wendy Darling as they have been childhood favorite characters of mine and the fact that I finally read a re-telling of my favorite duo made my soft heart become so much more softer. This re-telling was soft and refreshing and great twist to the Peter Pan story that I hold very dear to my heart. It was so cute and I honestly would d word for Peter Pan 😦

goodreads | book depository | amazon | barnes & noble

The Grishaverse Trilogy by Leigh Bardugo

Seeing that the show was so close to premiering, I absolutely HAD to read the series before watching the show and I’m surprised that it’s taken me this long to do so since I was in love with YA fantasy when I was in high school. I know a lot of people say that this series was the worst and that the Six of Crows duology is SOOO much better but after reading this I couldn’t help but??? Enjoy it??? I really should’ve read this series before I read Six of Crows bc it helped so much with the world building and the magic system that I was so helplessly confused with in SOC. I can definitely see where people say that this series is “all right” but I think I liked it more than I thought I would? Can I just say F*CK the Darkling fr?? I don’t understand why people ship him and Alina LMAO. I honestly love Alina and Mal and I would d word for them 😦 A reading vlog is coming soon for this trilogy so be sure to keep an eye out for that !!!

Media ♡ 

I don’t think I consumed that many shows or anything in April except for binging two seasons of Grey’s Anatomy and the entire Shadow & Bone show in one sitting jjsfjakjsf

Grey’s Anatomy has always been a guilty pleasure show for me ever since I was in high school and since I was in the medical program back then, and re-watching this show now in my 20s makes me realize how much I missed this. Mark Sloan and Lexie Grey have my whole heart 😦

Other than Grey’s Anatomy I also binged the Netflix show Shadow & Bone after reading the Grishaverse trilogy and can I just say f*ck the Darkling me and the homies hate the Darkling!! I won’t lie that Ben Barnes is certainly attractive but I must say that my bias has got to be Jesper, I l word him so much ❤

Also I want to talk about the Crows!!! I love the Crows so much and seeing them in action made my heart so full. I truly think Freddie did an amazing job portraying the infamous Kaz Brekker. Jesper and Inej were amazing as well and I simply love with all my heart. Kit as Jesper was simply EVERYTHING!!! HE IS SO FUNNY!!!! I LOVE HIM!!!

Also the way the producers and writers set up the story for the Crows is like… amazing, it made me so excited for the second season. When Matthias and Nina were introduced bro… stop. I was always confused when Matthias first saw Nina in the Ice Court and started ch*king her and seeing the reason why Matthias did what he did… dude….

I still need to re-read Six of Crows and Crooked Kingdom and a reading vlog will soon be up about that so be on the look out! 🙂

Personal ☼☽

Safe to say that April was a good month to me but of course me and my dumb ass needs my brain to mess up everything for me and put me in a emotionally draining rut. Sometimes I wish my brain could just turn off for once like PLS!!!

Since my brain has decided to decrease my seratonin levels, I’ve decided to take a smol break off of my bookish socials since I realized that place was toxic for my mental health and I was comparing myself to every single person I was friends with and I think??? that I’m in a better place now that I’m focusing on myself? WOW the things that could happen once you’re off of social media folks… it’s crazy I highly recommend it.

Taking time off of social media has led me to reading and writing more, I spent more time with the people I care about (being said the sarangbaes and my besties Shan, Ren, Kianna and Azeemzoom and I dressed up Lao New Year with my family and celebrated with them ) and I’ve been journaling almost every night my feelings so I don’t go to bed with too much in my head. I forgot how therapeutic journaling was and I highly recommend it to everyone who tends to get highly overwhelmed with everything.

I also dyed my hair for the first HAHA. This is where my mental health has led me to… and I really like it 😀

May has been slightly better, I’ve just been studying for finals so I don’t know if I’ll read as much as I want to. NCT Dream came back with a new album!! Everyone stream Hot Sauce for clear skin ❤

Thank you all for stopping by, I hope you’re well and okay ❤


black water sister ARC review

“A stressed zillenial lesbian fights gods, gangsters, & grandmas in 21st century Penang” – Zen Cho

Honestly… SAY LESS

Hello everyone! My name is Jan, and welcome back to another blog post ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

After I saw the cover of Black Water Sister floating around Twitter, I knew that I MUST read it, I mean seriously it is GORGEOUS. Aftering hearing about a “stressed zillenial lesbian” who fights gods, gangsters and grandmas in Penang, I knew that I was automatically going to be hooked. I absolutely love stories that include ghosts and gods, especially if those ghosts and gods embody a Malaysian grandma with an attitude.

Without further ado, let’s get on with the review!

Title: Black Water Sister

Author: Zen Cho

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

Release Date: May 11, 2021

pre-order here!

goodreads | book depository | barnes and noble |


A reluctant medium discovers the ties that bind can unleash a dangerous power in this compelling Malaysian-set contemporary fantasy.

Jessamyn Teoh is closeted, broke and moving back to Malaysia, a country she left when she was a toddler. So when Jess starts hearing voices, she chalks it up to stress. But there’s only one voice in her head, and it claims to be the ghost of her estranged grandmother, Ah Ma. In life Ah Ma was a spirit medium, the avatar of a mysterious deity called the Black Water Sister. Now she’s determined to settle a score against a gang boss who has offended the god–and she’s decided Jess is going to help her do it.

Drawn into a world of gods, ghosts, and family secrets, Jess finds that making deals with capricious spirits is a dangerous business. As Jess fights for retribution for Ah Ma, she’ll also need to regain control of her body and destiny. If she fails, the Black Water Sister may finish her off for good.

CW: attempted rape, homophobia, racist microaggressions

I jumped into this completely blind except for the fact that the mc is sapphic and she fights ghosts with her grandma and can I say… I was well fed!

Jess was a character I could see a lot of people relating to- the type of character that’s basically stressed out about life in general and had no idea what was going in her life.

She is a closeted sapphic who is a recent college graduate and moves back to Malaysia with her parents not knowing what to do next. Moving back to Malaysia is a bit of a culture shock since she lived in the US all her life. She tries to adapt back to the culture and language and has even more stress upon her tightening relationship with her girlfriend. Just when she thinks things can’t get any worse, she becomes haunted by a ghost. That ghost more specifically being her grandmother.

Her grandmother is back and as witty and sarcastic even as a ghost. Her Ah Ma refuses to move onto the afterlife and she needs Jess’s help to get revenge on gangster Ng Chee Hin on behalf of the goddess Black Water Sister.

Even typing her name sounds cool af.

This book goes back and forth from having hilarious scenes between Jess and her Ah Ma, trying to figure what to do next and fighting ghosts, I found myself having a lot of fun reading this! I’m not Malaysian myself but I learned a lot about the culture and the folklore which were all very interesting to read!

This story has it all from fighting goddesses and ghosts, gangster gang rivalry, family secrets, a witty and fun grandma that isn’t afraid to speak her mind. While I enjoyed the story, I wished I got more explanations and more background about the culture and language as a reader who is not Malaysian myself. But I still enjoyed the book nonetheless!

Black Water Sister was a very fun and interesting book to read! If you’re the type of reader that loves ghost stories and fun adventures with a stressed zellenial who has no idea what the heck is going on, then you’ll absolutely love Zen Cho’s stunning book.

Thank you for stopping by for my review! I hope you’re all staying safe ❤


march wrap up | my spring days

Hello everyone! My name is Jan and welcome back to another blog post ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

Welcome back to my blog! I haven’t been posting a lot because I’ve been absolutely swamped with school work and other things 😦 On the bright side, I’ve been filming a lot more for my channel and I’m excited for you guys to see it! I’ve been trying to do weekly reading vlogs and I’ve been having a lot of fun filming them, it would mean a lot if you guys checked out my channel :,)

Today I have brought you my march wrap up (I still need to film my march wrap for my channel but I thought I would get closer with you all in a blog post with what I’ve read and loved in March :,) )

Without further ado, let’s get started!

March was surprisingly a really chill month for me. I spent the majority of that month, reading, writing, talking to my friends and going on picnics! It’s been a very much needed slow and therapeutic month for me and I actually got a lot of work done!

I’ve been focusing a lot more on my writing and my books, and I feel like I’ve been really productive with that! I can only thank my friends Ais and Trin for holding me accountable whenever we read or write together LOL.

I think March was a really good month for me because I was surrounded by positive vibes, good friends and good books. I started journaling more often and it’s definitely helped my mind space 🙂


In total I’ve read 4 books, which isn’t a lot but I’m proud of myself for reading that much! (There are more books and short stories that I’ve read for class but this isn’t a discussion post about them so I won’t bore you with those details.) The books I read were AMAZING! All of them have been books that I’ve been anticipating this year or books that my friend Ren recommended for me to read and they were all just great.

What I read in March

Chain of Iron has been a book that I’ve waiting to read FOREVERRRR. Even though CC has her *moments* I’ve been really invested in the Shadowhunter Chronicles ever since I was in high school. I’ve grown attached to the characters and I’m in too deep. This book messed me up (in a good way of course!) The angst, the fight scenes, everything hooked me in from beginning to end and I can’t wait for the last book next year. How will I survive 😦 At first I was contemplating on doing a blog post for this CHOI alone but if you want to know my thoughts more in detail, click on the link above and check out my reading vlog! It contains a lot of crying and a lot of pain 😦

XOXO by Axie Oh was a gift that my friend Mari over @ macnbooks gave me after she saw that I’ve been wanting to read ARC for so long and I can honestly say… I did not like this as much as I wanted to. I feel like if I was younger in high school then I would absolutely eat this book up, but since I’m not anymore… the y/n agenda was simply too strong for me. I still really enjoyed this! I feel like it’s a book that my little sister would enjoy because she likes KPOP as well as I do 🙂 Still a really enjoyable and easy read!

As you probably already know, The Ones We’re Meant to Find has been a book that I’ve been wanting to read FOREVERRR. Once I finally received an ARC I was… screaming. At first I just thought this book was a LOST meets WE WERE LIARS but I was pleasantly surprised and shook once I saw the Black Mirror aspects come in. I could go on and on about this book but if you would to know my thoughts in more detail, check out my ARC review here.

I don’t know what’s been up with me lately, but so far I have been absolutely loving the fairycore/cottagecore aesthetic like there’s no tomorrow? Which is really weird because I do not fw the ACOTAR series at all even though that was the first fairy book I’ve actually… read. BUT my friend Ren somehow managed to convince to read The Cruel Prince and for some reason… I cannot… put it down? I’ve been seeing the names Jude and Cardan circling around twitter for the longest time and I’ve always wondered who tf they were and finally… I found out. I DON’T KNOW WHY BUT I RLLY LIKE THE “I HATE EVERYONE BUT YOU” TROPE LIKE… I’M ABSOLUTELY TRASH. I’m surprised to say that this book was actually pretty good! I actually really liked it!

(Also look at the art of Cardan and Jude like… ABSOLUTELY INSANE…)


I didn’t really watch a lot of shows or movies this month because I was mostly focusing on books, but I still watched a good amount of film!

Okay first of all.. Penthouse… I’ve never been so invested in a kdrama like this one before. I think the last kdrama where I was hooked hooked was True Beauty and Extraordinary You. I never thought I would be so drawn into this kind of drama. Penthouse is way more mature than dramas I would usually watch. Normally I would watch wholesome, light-hearted and romantic dramas, I would’ve never thought that I would watch a drama so mature. The characters are all so interesting, their each individual plot lines have me hooked. And the overall PLOT itself is just amazing. This show really emphasizes on what privilege and power can get you, how, no matter who you are in the world, even if you’re the most toxic man to EARTH (*cough cough Joo Dan Tae) as long as you have money, you are unstoppable.

You all probably know that I am the type of person that doesn’t like any main character whatsoever and boy… Do I hate each and every character in this show. Except Shim Suyeon and Logan Lee and Bae Rona, but that’s pretty much it. Every single character in here is toxic, manipulative and they have their evil tendencies, but that’s what I LOVE.

I honestly can go on and on about this show, but I have a lot of things to say in this blog post, so maybe another time :,)

Another show I binged was the second season of Love Alarm! Ren and I watched every single episode together and it was so much fun texting each other and screaming about what was happening LMAO. Me and Ren are the type of people to hate the main mcs and main love interest and it was hilarious yelling at each other what was going on and who we hated and who we didn’t LMAOO.

I’ve also binged all four seasons of Big Time Rush in two days and… I have no regrets. I forgot how good the show was and how much I loved BTR’s music. There are no skips on their discography, I love them all so much! I became really nostalgic watching Big Time Rush again, I miss those times where I was a kid watching iCarly, Victorious and Big Time Rush over and over again. My bias was either Kendall and Logan LMAO. Who was your bias?

I really wished Lucy and Kendall ended up together. But anyways…


March was a really good month for me mentally! I got really close with some new friends and I went on very much needed therapeutic picnics with my friends from high school ❤

(I also want to mention that I got a 99/100 on my first exam for my literary theory and criticism class last month and I’m still SHOOK and really proud of myself :D)

All of my friends have been really supportive of my blog and channel and they told me that they’re all subscribed to me (even my best friend’s bf LOL) and that honestly makes me really happy! They’ve been helping me with my new books n looks concept that I’m trying to do on twitter now 🙂

I went to cali with my friends for spring break and we had a small road trip and just had a really fun time with each other :,) (you can watch clips of my smol break in my newest reading vlog!) We were all safe during our trip and spent time at the beach, melrose, and K-Town 🙂 I’m vv happy with my group of friends, they’ve all made my heart so whole ♥ (*I love you sarangbaes)

Also during spring break, I’ve been doing daily writing sprints with my friends Ais and Trin and we’ve all been writing and brainstorming ideas together for the #BIPOCFairytaleRetelling anthology submission and I’ve been having the best time writing and vibing with them (even tho they made me feel like I only have one brain cell). Being in the book and writing community has led me to have so many wonderful friends and I’ve created the best memories with them 🙂

March was a really wonderful and much needed month for me. I considered it to be one of my healing months because I actually had a really nice time.

That’s all for today’s post! Thank you so much for stopping by, I hope this month is wonderful to you all and I hope you read some amazing books 🙂 I post on channel my every Saturday and there’s a new blog post up every Tuesday!

Be sure to follow my Twitter for more bookish and annoying tweets as well as my Goodreads for bookish updates and more 🙂

Here are also some important links and resources that you need to be aware of:


info on the hijab ban in france


important resources & info

Stay safe,


the ones we’re meant to find ARC review

Hello everyone! My name is Jan and welcome back to another blog post  ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

Lately since February to now, I’ve been reading like crazy. I’ve been reading books after books, binging Marvel films after Marvel films, K-drama after K-drama (who’s been watching Penthouse and Love Alarm??) and my thoughts have been just been jumbled together with everything I’ve watched/read that I must discuss with you all. But first, since I’ve been behind on my book reviews, let’s start with that 😀

If you follow me on Twitter, you’re probably aware of how badly I’ve been wanting to read The Ones We’re Meant to Find by Joan He. Ever since I read the synopsis and the book cover got revealed on Twitter, I’ve been obsessed. I needed the book so desperately in my hands and I needed it ASAP. And finally after many months of waiting… I finally recieved the ARC! After reading Victoria @ corneliastreetreads blog post about TOWMTF… I couldn’t be more excited to read it.

Without further ado, let’s get started with my review! ❤

Title: The Ones We’re Meant to Find

Author: Joan He

Publication Date: May 4, 2021

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

pre-order here!

goodreads | amazon | book depository | barnes & noble


Cee awoke on an abandoned island three years ago. With no idea of how she was marooned, she only has a rickety house, an old android, and a single memory: she has a sister, and Cee needs to find her.

STEM prodigy Kasey wants escape from the science and home she once trusted. The eco-city—Earth’s last unpolluted place—is meant to be sanctuary for those commited to planetary protection, but it’s populated by people willing to do anything for refuge, even lie. Now, she’ll have to decide if she’s ready to use science to help humanity, even though it failed the people who mattered most. 

We Were Liars meets Black Mirror in this twisting tale of two sisters, one who woke up on an abandoned island with no memory except of her sister and the other a STEM prodigy living in this dystopian Earth where every inch of life is dying due to pollution and the inevitable dangers of climate change.

I’ve read a handful of books so far in 2021, and I’m sure most of you are aware how I dislike every fictional main character ever no matter who it is because… they always have some way to annoy me.

But surprisingly, I can say that I really enjoyed all the characters in TOWMTF!!! Even I’m surprised that I liked every single character in this book! They were all interesting, complex, and I was really invested in the relationship between Cee and her sister Kasey. Immediately after reading the synopsis, I was hooked.

You get see life from two different points of view. One from Cee on her abandoned island, and one from Kasey on her dying skydome. Cee on her journey of trying to find her way back to her sister and Kasey trying to save human existence.

To those who have read TOWMTF have been discoursing over which sister they like better, whether it be Cee or Kasey. Even though Kasey is a fellow STEM student like myself, I would have to say I prefer Cee. I think that her storyline and plot throughout the book made me more interested and invested than Kasey’s did. Her determination to get off this island and find her sister tugged on my heart strings because even though Cee has no recollection of her life before, she only remembered and knew one thing. She had to find her sister. At all costs.

Kasey was more closed off and reserved. I found it hard to find her likeable because of how gray her character was. But I do admire how she set she was on trying to make the best of her skydome life. I did enjoy seeing both different points of view, one life on in island, the other life in a modern world away from a polluted earth.

I really liked the STEM side of this book as well! As a person in STEM myself, it was really interesting to see Kasey’s side of things and hard she worked for to make life livable.

At first, the synopsis of this book made me think of it as Lost meets The Giver because of its scientific environment but after reading, I can definitely see where the We Were Liars and Black Mirror aspect comes from. This book definitely rubbed me in the Black Mirror part. You have these kind of expectations and predictions for what’s going to happen until the technological side weaves in and changes everything.

Joan has a way of building up scenes and emotions that leaves me absolutely shook. The twists and turns are something that I don’t expect at all and I am still trying to process what tf happened! You don’t see these twists coming at all and that’s what I loved the most about this ARC.

I loved every aspect of TOWMTF. From being on an abandoned island, mysterious allies and brooding side characters, the scientific side of trying to save life and human existence- it just had me hooked from beginning to end. I didn’t know what to expect at all and Joan He really did that.

If you are planning to read this book or is currently reading it now, all I can say is that you are going to be completely shook reading The Ones We’re Meant to Find.

That’s all for today’s post! Thank you for stopping by, it really means a lot.

Until next time,


february wrap up | what i read and loved

Hi there! My name is Jan and welcome back to another blog post ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

This is my first wrap up on my blog and I’m vv excited to do it! Usually I write down everything I’ve loved/did in a month down in my journal just bc it’s a good way to spill out my feelings and reflect, but after seeing so many other bloggers do wrap ups on their blog, I decided to give it a shot! I want to connect and interact with you guys as much as possible ❤

I will be talking about everything I’ve read, watched, listened and more! To watch my february wrap up video, watch it here!

February was a really, really, busy and hectic month for me. It was also really chaotic in terms of my personal life, my school life, and my life as a content creator. Even though I was really busy and overwhelmed, I still had a lot of good moments I would like talk about with you all! How was February for you? Anything exciting happen? Let me know!


In total I’ve read about 4 books last month, which isn’t a lot but I’m proud of myself for reading consistently lately! Once I’m in a slump, I get into a SLUMP, so I’m really proud of myself being able to do so!

What I’ve read in February:

I finally read The Burning God after setting it aside for months! Thank you Ace and Trin for bullying me into finishing it ❤ Check out my review here!

I also read The Invisible Life of Addie Larue after seeing it float around TikTok for so long. My irl friends sent it to me knowing how much I like books and thought I would enjoy it… well… I didn’t LMFAO. The ending is what saved it for me but it was really boring in my opinion 😦 I should be posting a book review of this soon! Be sure to watch out for that ❤

I Love You So Mochi has been on my TBR for so long and I finally read it this month! It definitely got me into the February feels just because of how cute and fluffy it was. Definitely a great and light read if you want some cute fluff ❤

I also read Horimiya Vol.9 ! I always try to read at least one manga a month and I’ve been binging the Horimiya series ever since the anime got released this year! It’s definitely one of my favorite mangas ever, it’s so fluffy and wholesome and cute and I WOULD JUST D WORD FOR IZUMI MIYAMURA. thank you.

I mean, seriously, look how cute they are :((

I also got approved for one of the ARCs I’ve been wanting to read FOREVER!! The Ones We’re Meant to Find by Joan He has been at the top of my most anticipated 2021 reads and I’m sososo happy I finally have it in my possessions to read ❤ I’m only at the 50% mark and things are getting CRAZY. I can’t wait to share my thoughts with you all later on the blog!


I’ve also binged a ton of stuff this month! I finally watched Always and Forever, Lara Jean with my best friend before Valentine’s day (reaction video is coming soon I promith), and I’ve also been binging a lot of Marvel movies lately after finally getting Disney+ LOL.

I finally!! started!!! watching!! WandaVision!!! If you read my Most Anticiated Books and Films of 2021, you should already know that I’ve been waiting for this series FOREVERRR!! I’m a huge Marvel stan and I’ve missed their movies sooo much (my favorite Avengers are Wanda, Captain America & Spider-Man) and duuuude when I say this series is good, IT IS SO GOOD!!! I never know what to expect every episode and I’m always left with a feeling of confusion BC I JUST WANT TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENS NEXT!!! I love Wanda so much, she’s grown so much since Age of Ultron I’m just :((( I JUST WANT HER TO BE HAPPY!!!

Oh and I finished True Beauty also, and I’m just devastated I just want Han Seojun to be happy 😦


So. I was really, really, busy, this month! And I still am really busy! The grind just doesn’t stop forrealll.

This month I had to apply to my school’s Radiography program, which is essentially the school for people who major in X-Ray Technology. In order for me to finish the rest of my classes and graduate, I have to apply to the program! It was a very hectic week for me but I’m so glad that I got it done !

I also reconnected with my friends that I haven’t talked to in a while ! 2020 was the year where I fell off with a lot of my close friends and lost some really valauble friendships which made me rlly sad for a while, but this year I started to reconnect with my old pals that had a rlly big impact on my life and I’m glad I started talking to them again ❤

I had a galentine’s day with my best friend shan! usually on a holiday we have a special day together where we have this sort of (potluck?) together and watch a movie? we always try to go for “aesthetic” foods to post on instagram and whatnot but it always fails LMAO. for galentine’s day we had shumai, mac n cheese, carne asada fries, and fried chicken along with coca-cola. we spent the rest of the night watching always and forever, lara jean and making really bad music videos LOL.

I’ve also been doing weekly writing sprints! with my lovely friends Ace @ peachnace.com , Trin @ allegoryofwords.wordpress.com and Zoe Hana Mikuta, author of Gearbreakers come out this june! If you want to join us for weekly writing sprints, join us every Monday at 12pm pst on Ace’s channel!

Doing these writing sprints have made me so productive with my writing and I’m vv glad I started doing them with my lovely group of friends, I honestly love them so much ❤ Honestly, I write a lot when I do write and I can write about 400-600 words in twenty minutes and I do enjoy writing a lot but I’m just… too… lazy… to write… LOL

I’ve been doing nightly writing sprints with Trin though and it’s boosted my productivity by a lot lmao TY TRIN!

I also finished my first anthology submission! Ace and I both wrote short stories for this Queer Yonder Anthology and we had a such a fun time writing it! This anthology submission I wrote was based off of my friend’s dream and it’s a horror/inception kind of story and it’s the second story I’ve ever written that I actually finished! Even though I didn’t get chosen, I’m really proud of myself for finishing this story that I put my all into. I’m also wanna say thank you to my soulmate Ren for helping me out on this submission!! I’m so sorry that you had to bear and edit it with me SFKASJFKASJK. I love you bae.

Here’s a smol collage of my month down below ❤

One last thing that I want to mention what happened in February is that I celebrated my ult bias’s birthday LOL. HAPPY BIRTHDAY I LURV UUU. (I also celebrated 4 years of stanning him :D) My fav thai idol ❤

Mentally, i’ve been okay. i’ve had a few moments last month when i was truly going thru it but recently i’ve been journaling my thoughts/things im grateful for/my day every night in my journal and it’s been really helpful taking some weight off my shoulders. after reconnecting with some things/people that have hurt me in the past last month, it was rlly hard to come to terms with how i felt about those certain things/people and your girl was just going thru it. but i’ve been bearing my feelings day by day. being surrounded by my wonderful book friends have helped me a lot and i’m really proud of myself for growing from the person i used to be a year ago.

My self-confidence has also been boosted up a lot bc of my amazing friends that I around me! I’ve been feeling vv pretty lately ❤ (sorry to be narcissistic but after feeling hideous for a good month this has been very uplifting on my heart LOL)

That’s all for today’s post! Thank you so much for stopping, it truly means a lot ❤

Until next time,


the burning god review

Disclaimer: This book is not for everyone. This entire series in fact is not for everyone. It touches on very sensitive topics + is very graphic. Some of the trigger warnings include: war, racism, genocide, mass rape, sexual assault, torture, cannibalism, etc. Here is the full list of trigger warnings.

Title: The Burning God (The Poppy War #3)

Author: R.F Kuang

Publication Date: November 17, 2020

Rating: ☆☆☆☆☆

Let’s get started.


After saving her nation of Nikan from foreign invaders and battling the evil Empress Su Daji in a brutal civil war, Fang Runin was betrayed by allies and left for dead. 

Despite her losses, Rin hasn’t given up on those for whom she has sacrificed so much—the people of the southern provinces and especially Tikany, the village that is her home. Returning to her roots, Rin meets difficult challenges—and unexpected opportunities. While her new allies in the Southern Coalition leadership are sly and untrustworthy, Rin quickly realizes that the real power in Nikan lies with the millions of common people who thirst for vengeance and revere her as a goddess of salvation. 

Backed by the masses and her Southern Army, Rin will use every weapon to defeat the Dragon Republic, the colonizing Hesperians, and all who threaten the shamanic arts and their practitioners. As her power and influence grows, though, will she be strong enough to resist the Phoenix’s intoxicating voice urging her to burn the world and everything in it?  

Cue the fires.

I finally got the opprotunity to purchase final installment of The Poppy War series two months after the release date aaaand wow.

That was something.

I’ve been holding off on finishing the last book of the amazing series merely because I was too scared of finishing it and I simply didn’t want it to end. Though I am late on the train and finished this book months after everyone else finished it, I surprisingly didn’t see any spoilers.

It honestly took me forever to finish this book even though I purchased this in January and it took two of my friends to bully me into finishing it and after much anticipation and many days of bullying… I did.

The only thing I can say is: why did I put this down in the first place?

If you follow me on Twitter, you were probably already aware of my Burning God thread that I started in January and abandoned until a few days ago when I finished it. And that thread is just me being in full and utter disbelief and shock because of what on Earth was going on in that book.

Within each page I turned, it just became more and more intense. More and more heavy and more and more… mind f*cking.

Reading this book was certainly a wild ride. There were so many moments where I had to put it down simply because it was getting too much.

I loved this book and I also hated it at the same time. Much like how I loved/hated the first two. Kuang has such a way of making me want to strangle her characters physically through the pages that it was driving me insane.

I didn’t have any theories whatsoever before I dove into this book, all I know/wanted was for Rin to take Nezha down.

Before I dive deep into my review about this book, all I can say for those who haven’t read the last and gut-wrenching conclusion to The Poppy War is that it is not what you expect at all. Multiple things happen in this book that had me on the edge of my seat and I simply had to put it down because it was either getting too much or because I was too scared to finish it.

(major spoilers ahead)

Slowly throughout the book, we see Rin become… well… insane.

She became basically insane.

What I liked most about this book was that Rebecca didn’t sugarcoat anything when it came to the topic of war. This book is as brutal and violent and it really jerks you to see the real reality and devastation that happens to people when a war occurs.

What I really like about this series is how Rebecca played with time (as wars do take over several years). We literally meet Rin when she’s only like 13 and throughout the time span of when she turns 20, we see her become a shaman, a war criminal, and a mfing murderer. She literally burned a dude’s testicles off at like 18!!! What?!

Even though this series takes course over several years, the books don’t feel too rushed or too long and yet we still feel/see the growth of the characters.

Throughout the last book, we see Rin take control and become a leader and also lose her way within these pages. Rin has seen/been through unspeakable things that it didn’t really surprise me one bit to see her lose her mind and and change into someone we don’t even recognize due to what she’s experienced. She sort of became… demonized.

She’s seen too much, fought too much, seen her own comrades die in this war and betray her. We literally see her at her breaking point where the phoenix basically consumes Rin and all she sees is red.

Vengeance becomes the only thing that strives her to keep fighting in this war. The only thing she has going throughout this book is defeating Nezha and the southern coalition.

The amount of people that betrayed Rin in this book just left me shocked like man! No one likes her!!!

I also want to bring up this really intense scene that I just can’t stop thinking about. It literally lives in my head rent free. It’s the scene when Rin goes back to Tikany after the Hessians are there and they’re celebrating their departure and Rin is with Souji right when the bombs go off and she realizes that Nezha has been following her this entire time.

That scene when Rin is fighting Nezha and she sees that the Dragon god in him is much more powerful than she thought. Nezha and his ability to control the water was at a whole entire different level. Not only could he control the water but he could manipulate it to his will. The scene was so intense because it was raining hard, hard and as much as Rin tried to use her fire abilities, Nezha just kept putting it out by summoning more and more rain. It was honestly so intense that it kept me on the edge of my seat because I have been anticipating the moment when Rin and Nezha were going to meet up after Nezha’s betrayal in The Dragon Republic. To be honest I don’t really know who I was rooting for because I knew that both Nezha and Rin were both powerful as fuck and it kept reminding me of when Katara and Zuko went to fight Azula during the last episode of Avatar: The Last Airbender. And it also reminded me of that one meme where Squirtle was fighting Pikachu (even though Pikachu conducts lightningksjfks).


(c) goes to artist!

(*side note when I found out Hanelei was Altan and Rin’s relative?? They’re cousins??? HUHHH)


The final book is much more darker than the first two. It has a much more realist undertone that the other two books didn’t have. While we were still centered around the story of war and destruction between two countries, there were still some light-hearted moments that made me laugh and smile and that was the relationship that Rin had with her comrades. Her anchor Kitay and the Cike. I found their adventures together and their banter to be funny and heart-warming. Chaghan and Rin’s back and forth was what honestly made me love The Dragon Republic and The Poppy War. The fact that this final book was more dark, more realistic made it have much more of an impact on me that I literally won’t ever forget. Even though the ending was certainly not what I was expecting, I know Rebecca wanted to portray realistic events of what actually happens in a war and that’s what made this book much more darker and deeper than the first two.

It is brutal and it is honest. Towards the end when Rin becomes so distrusting of everyone and her comrades until she thinks everyone’s just praying on her downfall is what made me so angry and so anxious for what was going to happen because I was getting closer and closer to the end and Rin was just becoming insane.

Finally, the ending… was not what I expected at all. It left me completely and honestly… broken.

Oh no! Jan becoming destroyed by another book? Are we surprised?

Thank you for stopping by.

Until next time,


playing cupid by sc alban ARC review

What do you do when you run over a Cupid? Do you call State Farm insurance? Sing, “like a good neighbor state farm is there?” Well, in Playing Cupid, when you run over the mystical being, you get to be cupid instead. And if you suck at the topic that is love just like our main character Megan Cooper– well, all I can say is good luck, Charlie.

Title: Playing Cupid

Author: SC Alban

Publication Date: February 23, 2021

Rating: ☆☆


For the past five years, seventeen-year-old Megan Cooper has built a wall around her heart with little room to experience true feelings. However, her entire world shifts the moment she hits Cupid with her car driving home from finals. With his shooting arm significanting injured, she has no choice but to take his place.

Now, as Megan races to find Cupid’s final three love matches in order to meet his quota by the start of the new year, she comes face to face with the very emotions she’s been pushing away for so long.

Caught between what her head is saying and what her heart longs for, Megan must face old wounds, find forgiveness, and track down the perfect match for the one boy she can’t stand.

Thank you NetGalley for sending me a copy in exchange for an honest review!

Playing Cupid follows seventeen-year-old Megan Cooper, a recluse in her senior year of high school before graduating early and going to college for early admission. She has a sort of rocky relationship with her dad and basically people in general. Following the death of her mother, her relationship with her father ceased to exist to the point where he can’t even face her anymore because she reminded him so much of his first love. During finals week, Megan is paired up with her school’s hottest jock, Jay Michaels, although nice, polite to teachers and massively attractive, he flakes out of every school assignment ever.

After driving home from her Home EC final, Megan is angered with the audacity that Jay Michaels have, flaking out on her when all she wants to do is get her last assignment done with so that she can be done with high school. Driving at a horribly fast rate, Megan runs over an unseen figure in the road– that figure turning out to be the love god himself Cupid.

Image result for cupid gif

Now with the task to do Cupid’s job for him since his shooting arm is broken, can Megan find love for other people, including herself?

This book was an easy light-hearted, humourous and very heartwarming read. After reading this book, I was left with a nice feeling in my chest and I definitely felt the loving mood that it gave me. It finally felt like was February 💖 .

However, even though I do love good fluff and cute romantic tropes in books, Playing Cupid was a solid 2/5 stars for me.

The plot itself was okay. It was simple, really. Ran over Cupid? He can’t do his job of making people fall in love? No problem! Megan Cooper is right here, and she’ll get the job done! I thought that the idea of the plot was interesting and cute, we even got to see the Cupid (Amadeo) and Megan form a kind of relationship together which I found really sweet and wholesome. But, alas, this book just added another character onto my “mcs that I can’t stand” list.

Mainly why this book fell flat for me was because of the main character Megan. For some reason I just couldn’t connect with her throughout the entirety of this book. Her personality just didn’t click with me, and I found myself cringing and rolling my eyes at almost everything that she was thinking/saying/doing.

Image result for you're annoying gif

What irritated me the most was her “I’m not like other girls” personality. I’m okay with the trope/characteristic, but the fact that the book brought up that she wasn’t like other girls all the time is what annoyed me the most. The fact that there was written dialogue by her and the main love interest saying that she wasn’t like other girls made my fingers physically curl up because of how much I cringed.

Image result for not like other girls gif

The only character that I felt that I genuinely liked was Amadeo. The Cupid Megan ran over. His character was witty, sarcastic and downright entertaining. He was the only one that got me to continue the book.

Overall, I found Amadeo and Megan’s adventure of trying to find matches all over town to be entertaining and very fluffy! It’s definitely a read for February to get in the loving mood.

I hope everyone is well! Thank you for coming by ❤

Stay safe


favorite animes of all time

Hi there! My name is Jan and welcome back to another blog post  ◝(ᵔᵕᵔ)◜ ♥

If you didn’t know I really love films. Like really love films. If I’m not crying or complaining over the latest book I’ve read, I will most likely be found crying or complaining about my latest anime binges and tv shows.

Since this blog is still “somewhat” new I’ve figured what another way of getting to know me is by discussing my absolute favorite animes. Of course there a lot to list out so I’ll just be doing my top eight!

What genres are your favorite?

I don’t know what’s wrong with me but my favorite animes would usually consist of shoujo/slice of life/sad animes. For some reason I really like being sad and having my heart torn into pieces.

My favorite genres include romance, slice of life, action, drama/tragedy and comedies! Those are just my favorite types of animes to watch. If the main character doesn’t make me feel sumn, I don’t want it.

Most of my favorites that I’m about to list out are either a slice of life, or really, really sad (I’m sorry in advance) but I just love dramatic, sad, depiction of life stories because they make me think differently about life also while being able to tear my heart to absolute smithereens and I live for that sh*t.

Without further ado, let’s get started!

Your Lie in April (2015)

Your Lie in April is about a young musician prodigy (Kousei)who doesn’t play piano anymore is grieving the death of his mother, and lives in a complete dull world until a free-spirited violinist (Kaori) tugs at his heart strings and he starts to
see the world in music one again.

This is the first anime that’s ever made me sob, sob. A young prodigy grieving after his mother’s death, meets a free-spirited violinist. Through their friendship, he learns to see the world through music once again.

I first watched this anime back in 2018 when a really good friend of mine recommended it to me and man, did I cry at the end. Not only was the story amazing and aesthetically pleasing to watch, but the music and soundtrack is what made this anime so much more appealing and heart-warming. To watch these two musicians with complete opposite personalities form a friendship and work through their each of their own trauma absolutely tore my heart into pieces. I absolutely loved it so much.

The cinematography

Not only was the story and characters absolutely amazing, but cinematography was absolutely phenomenal. My favorite moments in the anime would be whenever they played music, whether it be by the piano or violin, you would see all this type of art surrounding the two main characters as they played, symbolizing how music made them feel, how music itself was like a type of soul within them and how they were the only two people right in that moment.

Kaori - Your Lie In April Gifs - Album on Imgur | Best romance anime, Good  anime series, Your lie in april
787 Your Lie in April Gifs - Gif Abyss

See how absolutely beautiful that is? They were both two complete strangers before meeting each other, and through music did they learn what the value of life was and how meaningful their playing actually meant to not only them, but to others as well.

The ending scene absolutely broke me. The way their last performance together was executed and the way it was a reflection of what was happening in their physical lives made me cry my eyes out. This anime is not only amazing but it is also beautiful. Please check it out if you love music included in stories.


To watch the trailer for Your Lie in April, click here.

Hotarubi no Mori e (2011)

A very short story of a small girl stumbling upon a mountain god after visiting her grandparents in the countryside. The mountain god has a curse that doesn’t allow him to physically touch anyone mortal or else he will disappear. However, as the small girl and mountain god start to develop a relationship each time she comes to visit in the summer, how long could they go and not touch one another as their feelings continue to grow?

I think this was the first anime movie I watched last year back when quarantine was just beginning to start. I remember hearing a lot about this anime but could never find the time to watch it, so after one of my many late night group facetime calls with my friends, I promised them I would be back after watching the anime and came back to the call an hour later sobbing my eyes out.

Did this anime absolutely destroy me? Yes. Do I recommend everyone to watch this? Also yes.

Childhood friends-to-lovers have always been a trope that I hold near and dear to my heart, so not only did anime also do that trope justice, but the friends-to-lover progression between the two main characters was absolutely beautiful and magnificent to watch. Even though this movie was a very short to watch (45 mins) it felt like I was watching 2 hours worth of relationship building and love just because of good it was. The story is really heart-warming and tugs your heartstrings. The ending isn’t what you expect but it’s what makes this movie unforgettable. The characters were amazing, the story was phenomenal, you will need a tissue if you watch this.

10/10 stars for this one

Hotarubi no mori e GIF - Find on GIFER
TOP 14 JAPANESE ANIMATED MOVIES THAT WILL MAKE YOU CRY — dewildesalhab 武士 |  Anime films, Gin anime, Anime scenery

To watch the trailer for Hotarubi no Mori e, click here.

A Silent Voice (2017)

When Shoya Ishida bullies Shoko Nishimiya in elementary school, causing her to move away, becomes victim to being bullied himself and becoming a social outcast, he years later tries to make amends with Nishimiya and forms an unlikely friendship with her. This anime is about friendship, depression and the value of life.

Was this another anime that made me bawl my eyes out? Yes. Did I have any regrets at all after watching it? No.

I’ve actually watched this movie twice; the first time I didn’t cry because I wasn’t really paying attention to it and had many other things on my mind, the second time was just last year and I finally got the chance to digest and take in the whole story and characters, making an everlasting impression on me that I will never forget.

The story is so absolutely wonderful. From both main characters, we see a glimpse of their mental health and what they’re both going through. How they both have this struggle of being alive because of depression. The main message of a struggle of communication between the main character Ishida and Nishimiya really warmed my heart because of how much it reflected society, and how they are not a lot of people who are accommodating to people who are impaired and that just really hit my heart right from the start.

The character I connected the most with was Shoya Ishida, with anxiety was a constant presence in his life and how he always felt alone and how he had to prove to not only Nishimiya but himself also how he was a good person and how he had to try living.

This movie is an absolutely need to watch. If you haven’t watched A Silent Voice, please check it out.

A Silent Voice GIFs - Get the best GIF on GIPHY
585 Koe No Katachi Gifs - Gif Abyss | Anime, Japanese animated movies,  Japanese animation

To watch the trailer for A Silent Voice, click here.

Orange (2016)

When a group of friends recieve letters from their future selves to not make the same mistakes they did, they begin to value and recognize the friendship and relationship they have with new transfer student Kakeru Naruse

This anime is really heavy on the struggle of carrying guilt and grieving over the death of a loved one. It’s such a wonderful and beautiful anime and clearly depicts the feelings of how one can look okay on the outside but not be so entirely okay on the inside.

The value of friendship and time is a clear message in this anime because of how much each character tries to make all the right choices when it comes to their new friend Naruse. I know there’s a lot of commotion around the subject of finding a significant other and being in a relationship, but I feel like friendship and being able to have your friend’s back is just as important as a romantic relationship. This anime helped me realize that every single person that you meet, whether it be for a second for ten years, they all leave a sort of impact in your life, no matter how small or big, they were a part of your life, and we shouldn’t take that for granted.

This anime really opens your eyes on how you should check up on your friends and family because no matter how okay we may seem on the outside, we don’t truly know everyone is actually feeling.

This is from the anime "Orange." The couple in the gif is Kakeru Naruse and  Naho Takamiya. | Anime orange, Anime romance, Anime
Orange – Not Your Kohai

To watch the trailer for Orange, click here.

I Want to Eat Your Pancreas (2018)

An introverted high school comes across a diary on the floor of the hospital only to find out it belongs to a popular classmate of his and realizes that she is suffering from a terminally ill sickness. Through this diary they develop a special relationship with each other and goes over all the things she wants to do on her bucket list.

This anime kid of hit home because I found myself being able to relate to the main character and how she came to terms with her sickness, but what I loved the most about her was that she didn’t make her illness become her whole personality and how she always saw the bright side of things no matter what.

I also really love the badass/idontgiveaf*ck and himbo best friend trope with all my heart. The two characters really reminded me of myself and my best friend! Overall this story was very touching and not at all what you expect. You think that you know it’s going to turn out but then turns into something completely different. This movie overall was amazing and had me laughing every fifteen minutes or so.

9/10 stars for this one.

An Asian Literature Student's Take On 'I Want to Eat Your Pancreas' – The  Stoic Mind
kimi no suizou wo tabetai | Anime images, Aesthetic anime, Anime movies

To watch the trailer for I Want to Eat Your Pancras, click here.

Weathering With You

Set in Tokyo in what seems like a never-ending drought, a runaway boy looking for a new life and a way to make ends meet in the big city a Sunshine Girl, a girl who only been told about in myths. She has possess the power to wish for the rain to go away for one small period of time and for sunshine to bring about the new day. Through this relationship they experience the ups and downs of life, hardship and what it means to be a family.

I actually watched this movie in theatres at the very beginning of 2020 right before COVID-19 hit hard and the way I will never forget the way how badly I teared up towards the end of the movie. I’ll never forget that night and feeling ever again. It was my best friend’s 20th birthday, it was cold outside and our breaths always came out as icy particles whenever we exhaled and the mood was just immaculate.

If you’ve watched the very popular anime movie Your Name, then you’ll definitely enjoy this. You might even be surprised on who makes special appearances in this one.

To be able to actually watch this film in theatres was such amazing experience. Especially since I got to hear the amazing soundtrack by one of my favorite band The Radwimps so clearly from all the surrounding speakers.

You can kind of see where the story is going towards the end and how fate and destiny ultimately win in the end, even though I kind of predicted the ending, I will never forget scene during the very last act. There’s this line from the film that has been in my head ever since I watched it last year, and it’s “I don’t care if the world never sees sunshine again, I want you more than any blue sky.”

The line alone made the movie unforgettable. The story is beautiful and the relationship between all of the characters is just heart-warming and magnificent. Please watch Weathering With You. You will not be disappointed. I promise.

10/10 stars

Weathering With You – Review
Tenki no Ko: Weathering With You on We Heart It | Anime films, Anime  friendship, Aesthetic anime

My Little Monster (2012)

Shizuku Mizutani is a high school student that only cares about school and studying until she becomes entangled with her seatmate and chicken lover Shizuku. The moment he tells her he’s in love with her, Mitzutani’s whole world changes

Pause, right now. I know that the last six animes I’ve listed above have all been outright sad and tear-jerking, so finally, I present to you, dear reader, fluff.

Yes, I’m recommending My Little Monster, I feel like it’s a really nice and light-hearted school anime that makes you fall deeply in love with both of the main characters. If you like the focused/idontcareaboutanythingelse main protagonist and dumb himbo who’s in love with her kind of trope, then I say that this anime is perfect for you.

I watched this anime my freshman year of college and can I just say that I loved, loved, loved this anime sooooo much after I finished watching it. It’s an easy slice-of-life anime that you will never get bored of watching. It’s such a light-hearted anime about a love story between the studious girl and her trouble-maker classmate.

Horimiya (2021)

Kyoko Hori is a bright a popular girl at her school who is known for her looks and cool personality. Izumi Miyamura is a gloomy, dark introverted kid that not everyone comes around. Through Hori’s little brother, Miyamura brings him home to find Hori as her alter-ego- a homebody who dresses down and takes cares of the household chores and Hori finds the side of Miyamura with multiple ear-piercings, tattoos and wicked long hair that no one else knows. Through their small secret, they begin to develop a relationship where both of them starts to fall deeply in love with each other.

I know that this anime is quite relatively (?) new as it just came out at the beginning of the year, but this is one of the stories that I hold near and dear to my heart. I read the manga back in high school and I remember just loving it soooo much that I was absolutely geeked out when I found out the adapted anime would be coming out soon.

I find these two characters to be so amazing and I absolutely love them with all my heart. Izumi Miyamura who is this soft-spoken, quiet introvert that no one talks to having another side that only Hori knows about is just so??? fluffy??? to me??? Like you must like someone so much if you let them see a part of you that no one else knows about. Same goes for Hori, while she may look like popular and outspoken idol student on the outside, she really just is a homebody who remarkably resembles a housewife who really cares about her little brother.

I find their love story to be just absolutely adorable and cute. It’s the kind of high school love story I wish I had back then but I’m so glad I got to read this manga when I was still a student back then.

I wish I could say more about how fluffy this anime is, but I’m still waiting for more episodes to be released. I have absolutely no idea if this anime will make me cry or not. We’ll just have to wait and find out.

It’s your stereotypical high school anime with a shy emo boyfriend and outspoken preppy girlfriend. It’s my favorite anime of all time. Definitely check it out if you love fluff and romance.

Definitely a 10/10 stars for me

koharu - Tumblr blog | Tumgir
Tuan — “That's you right, Hori-san?”

To watch the trailer for Horimiya, click here.

At last, those are all my favorite animes!

Have you watched any of these? What are your thoughts on them? What are your favorite animes that I should check out? If you definitely like crying (lol) and coming out of a film feeling like your entire life has changed, you should check out these animes.

Also, you should listen to the Radwimps music while you’re at it. The soundtrack for Your Name and Weathering With You makes me ball my eyes out everytime I listen to it.

bunny by mona awad review

Title: Bunny

Author: Mona Awad

Publication Date: June 11, 2019

Rating: ☆☆☆☆

SO… that…. THAT was… something…

If you follow me on Twitter you probably were already aware of me freaking out over this book because I had gotten almost a third of it in when I realized… it was horror….

Call the circus.

This book was amazing, weird, downright confusing up to the very last page and yet I still ate it up. I knew about this book from my very good friend Mari over @ macnbooks and I just thought it was going to be a dark academia/witchy/underground cult going on underneath Warren University until I got up to page 76 and realized that it was indeed not that.

This book had many WTF moments, many what is going on, and many oh my god my brain moments as I continued reading.

We follow our main character Samantha who is a graduate student at New England’s Elite Warren University and she has a passion for writing and yet doesn’t really write (like me??). She really only sticks to one person during her years of Graduate school and that is her very best friend Eva. At the beginning of the book they are at this gathering for the start of the school year and both Samantha and Eva see this cohort group of girls that call each other Bunny and we see right away how weary they are of them.

The Bunnies’ small group is called The Smut Salon and while Ava is cringing and saying how weird the Bunnies’ are, Samantha catches their attention at the event, and waves at them.

The next day Samantha gets an invitation from the Bunnies to meet with them for the very first time at their famous Smut Salon and all hell breaks loose from there.

I don’t want to say too much and spoil the fun for other people (I’m also working on my own book talk video for my channel so look out for that) but after Samantha gets involved with the Bunnies at their very first meaning, some weird shit happens.

Like. Really. Weird. Shit.

Have you ever heard the burning of a tea kettle? And the whistling sound slowly getting higher and higher as it gets hotter and hotter? That was the same feeling I kept getting as the more I read. I got to page 76 when I began getting really creeped out.

Definitely gave me Zimzalabim vibes.

Image result for zimzalabim gif

At last came the point when the Bunnies went and invited Samantha’s old fling from high school to their beloved Smut Salon and that’s when weird things really start going down.

Let’s just say a few bunnie conjuring, heads exploding, cult gathering scenes later I finally digested that this book was indeed a horror book. I even got so creeped out that I bothered five of my friends to play iMessage games with me because of how scared I was.

I would say read this book if you enjoy narratives from a unreliable narrator like in The Yellow Wallpaper and if you just want to get mind-fucked in every way possible. You could not stop reading this book because of how weird it was and how Samantha just kept falling deeper and deeper into this rabbit hole with the other Bunnies…

This whole book was enjoyable to read and just made me have a lot of ???? moments which I don’t doubt other people have had also and because of the ending which still has me like…. REALLY??? THAT’S WHAT HAPPENED???

mood after reading bunny

Bunny by Mona Awad definitely was a trip down a really weird rabbit hole and had me on the edge of my seat and shoulders hunched up because of creepy it was. If you enjoy horror and a very sarcastic and relatable main character who doesn’t like people (like me) then this book is perfect for you.

Until next time,